I'm Never Loving Again
by Foreststar of WindClan
Summary: "I love you," mewed Darkshade to her. "There's nobody I'd rather be with." One night, Darkshade curled up and slept next to the love of his life. The next morning, she sent him away. "I don't love you," she stared into his eyes. "I never have." Darkshade became scared of rejection. "I'm never loving again," he swore. "Never." Attempted and possibly failed Songfic.


**So, I just got in the mood to write a Songfic, so I chose Careless Whisper by George Michael (You also may know it as I'm Never dancing Again) as the song. I'll probably be off in some things. Enjoy!**

A dark gray and brown tabby tom faced Rabbitblaze.

"I love you," mewed Darkshade to her. "There's nobody I'd rather be with."

She said nothing. The warrior touched her nose gently. "Come on," he murmured. "Sleep with me. You love me, right?"

Rabbitblaze blinked at him. She hesitated.

He frowned slightly. "Right? Right? You do love me, right?"

"Y-yes," she answered. She looked uncomfortable.

"Then come on," he encouraged her. He felt a twinge of doubt, but pushed it away.

"Alright," she narrowed her eyes at him, but he didn't notice. She turned and settled down into her nest.

Darkshade felt uncertainty prick at his pelt as he curled up next to Rabbitblaze. The white she-cat turned her head towards him, and their was an emotion in her eyes that he could not identify.

"Good-night, Rabbitblaze," he murmured. Comforted by her warm fur, steady breathing, and his certainty of her love of him, he soon drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Darkshade awoke to Rabbitblaze sitting in front of him, tail sweeping out behind her. Her green eyes were staring at him.

"Morning, love," he muttered, heaving himself to his paws. He turned his gaze onto hers, and flinched at the sight of the cold indifference inside her green eyes. "Something wrong, Rabbitblaze?"

"Yes," Rabbitblaze meowed darkly.

"What?" He asked curiously.

"You," she replied.

"What's wrong with me?" Darkshade wondered.

"Darkshade, look at me," she ordered. Confused, the dark gray and brown tabby raised his head so their eyes were equal, and stared into her eyes. He flinched at the emotions that were there.

"I don't love you," she stared into his eyes. "I never have."

Darkshade stumbled backwards. She... She didn't love him? Bu-but she said she did just last night! Then he remembered her strange reactions to his questions.

"Yo-you mean you don't love me?" He whimpered.

"No," her gaze softened slightly. "You are a good friend of my sister, and I like you, but we will be nothing more than friends."

With that, Rabbitblaze padded out of the warriors den. Darkshade stared at her long white tail as it disappeared from sight.

_I loved her. And I thought she loved me. How could she just push me away? How?_ Pain stabbed at him, threatening to engulf him in its folds. He lay his head into his paws and whimpered.

_This is all my fault. I rushed her. Maybe if I let her cool off, bring myself together, spend a few patrols with her, and maybe she'll realize her love for me. Yes, _Darkshade thought. _That is a good plan._ The dark brown and gray tabby's sorrow eased, and he breathed in deep, calming himself considerably.

He rose to his paws, and shook his fur out. Then he padded out to join his clan.

* * *

**_Two moons later_**

Darkshade stared at Rabbitblaze. The white she-cat was purring at something her sister said. I wish that was me. He took a deep breath. It was time to try again. He had waited, not rushing her, occasionally asking to be put on a patrol that she's on.

He casually padded up to her. "Hey, Rabbitblaze," he meowed. She flinched at the sight of him, then turned to her sister.

"Snowblaze, do you mind giving us a little time to ourselves?" She asked.

"No, of course not!" Snowblaze shook her head. The white she-cat padded away.

"What is it that you want, Darkshade?" Rabbitblaze asked, facing the tom.

"I wanted to know if you wanted to be my mate," he answered uncertainly. "I mean, you love me, don't you?"

"No, Darkshade, I don't. I like you, but I do not love you. Give it up," she flicked her tail, then left and padded after her sister.

_I rushed it again!_ He thought frustratedly. _In... In... In seven moons, I'll try again. She'll surely love me by then!_

* * *

**_Seven moons later_**

"Rabbitblaze, do you want to be my mate now?" He asked. He jerked back as she thrust her muzzle into his face. "Hey," he protested. "Don't do that, please. Cats who love each other don't do it."

Her eyes flashed angrily. "When will you get it?" She snarled. Confusion flashed through him. Get what? "I. Do. Not. Love. You. Understand? Darkshade, I never have loved you. Ever. If you give this up, then we can be friends. Back off now, and I'll forgive you one more time. Never mention anything similar to me loving you again. But if not, then I'm never going to exchange pleasant words with you again. Got it?"

Mutely, he nodded. But as she turned away, he couldn't resist one more thing. "Rabbitblaze... Why don't you love me?"

She looked back at him. "That was your one chance. Get away from me, Darkshade. Never speak to me again."

She leaped away. Hurt sparked through the dark gray and brown tabby. Rejected... He forced his feelings for her down. She didn't have anything for him, so he wouldn't have anything for her. Take that, Rabbitblaze. Now when she realized her love for him, he would be able to reject her. She would feel the pain he felt.

Distantly, he realized that he was scared of rejection.

"I'm never loving again," he swore. "Never."

And with that in mind, to bolster his self-strength to follow through with his oath, he rose and silently left the bush.

* * *

**_Five moons later_**

She was eying him again; he could sense it. He let out a sharp hiss of annoyance. Since he had sworn his oath, he had ignored every advancement Firespirit had made.

Rabbitblaze still hung in the edge of his mind, gradually drawing closer, but every time it emerged, he shoved it back down to a deep crevice in his head. _I don't love her anymore,_ he reminded himself. _I never will again. Our love was a mistake._

He could sense that she was disappearing from his head. But instead of leaving a blank space there, Firespirit was slowly closing in. He shook his head and growled in annoyance. _I swore that I would never love again. Never. And I'm going to uphold that oath until my dying breath and longer._

"Darkshade?" Firespirit approached him now. "Do you want to go for a walk?"

"No," he answered curtly. "Go away."

She recoiled, hurt in her eyes. She opened her mouth as if to say something, but then decided against it. Without another word, she spun and left him. Alone.

* * *

**_Countless moons later_**

Darkshade watched blankly as Firespirit's face looked above him. They were not mates—he would never break his oath—but she cared for him like a mate would. And to his slight horror, she discovered that she was somehow carrying his kits. He cared for them, of course. He at least wanted his kits to have a happy life, but he spurned their mother every time she asked him to become mates.

Now as he lay dying on the battlefield, pain wracking his body, he had the satisfaction of knowing he had not broken his oath. He had kept it to the end, and he would not break it ever. He would keep it to his fading day.

He vaguely felt the large tear in his neck. He was at death's entrance. It was over. He almost sighed in relief, for his days of staying away from others were over. He could finally have peace.

"Darkshade!" A voice pierced his haze. "Don't leave us!"

Nightclaw. His precious son. Two other voices joined in, begging for him to hold on. Sunfur and Blackflower. His two special and unique daughters.

He opened his mouth to tell them that he was okay, that everything would be alright, that he didn't mind leaving the living world. That this was what he wanted. But no words came out.

His grasp on life slipped, and then he was falling into darkness.

**Hmmmm... Not much to say. Did you like it?**

**—Foreststar**


End file.
